The photo is misleading, that’s Indian idly, which is supposed to be eaten with your hands. But you get the point.

So “That’s poor etiquette” is a helpful phrase for us. It seems to sum up many reasons to do things. Or not do them.

Example 1, Nose picking:
Instead of telling our kids “Ew, that’s gross and icky!” We keep it more indifferent and say it’s poor etiquette. One reason is because nose picking and eating might be good for the immune system, but we still don’t want our kids to do it. So instead of freaking out, we let them know it’s poor etiquette and give them a tissue.

Example 2, running around the house with no underwear when guests are coming or going outside not fully dressed:
My father in law has a saying, which we all lovingly quote, “That’s not done in the better homes.” I remember him using it while my nephew was running about with just a diaper on in his front yard. Family quotes are the best.

Example 3, drinking with your hand:
Ero has taken to using his hand to drink or eat anything liquid like. He can’t quite understand etiquette, but instead of making him stop completely I tell him it’s poor etiquette and hand him a spoon to use. I walk a line between letting kids play with their food and poor etiquette.

So there are many reasons why we use the phrase. I’m not even sure it it’s proper grammar. But it works.

Christopher Robin: Pooh, what’s your favorite thing in the whole world?
Winnie the Pooh: My favorite thing is me coming to visit you, and then you ask, “How about a small smackeral of honey?”
Christopher Robin: I like that, too. But what I like most of all is just doing nothing.
Winnie the Pooh: How do you do just nothing?
Christopher Robin: Well, when grown-ups ask, “What are you going to do?” and you say, “Nothing,” and then you go and do it.
Winnie the Pooh: I like that. Let’s do it all the time.

Our days are spent doing nothing. I really, really like doing nothing.

We never set out to have fish, but it happened anyway.

We learned enough on our path to a healthy tank that I thought would be good to share. I also know fishtanks are popular in Montessori classrooms or for Homeschoolers, so here we go…

1. It will take up to 6 weeks to “cycle” the tank. That means you will have a boring, empty tank with water and a filter running for over a month in your house. This is not a quick hobby.
2. Read this Peta thing before you dive into fish tanks. It may make you want to look on Craigs List for unwanted fish to house your tank (many people will give you free fish.)
3. Start with a nice large 20 gallon tank. Anything smaller will make you long for something bigger.
4. Some fishes put out more waste than others. Each goldfish, for example, will need 10 gallons of water. Each guppy will need 1 gallon. The rule is usually 1 inch of fish per gallon of tank, but goldfish are an exception.
5. Use live plants. Dooo eeet.
6. Buy your stuff. You will need:
   • A tank
   • A filter for the right size of tank, probably a Penguin 100.
   • Extra filters
   • A heater for the right size of tank
   • A thermometer for the side of the tank
   • A hood with an upgraded light (the neon lights the kits have are lame, we upgraded to a T5, but they are costly.)
   • A net and some kind of siphon to filter your sand or gravel
   • Sand or gravel (Gravel is a good first choice, sand is harder.)
   • A safe table or aquarium stand
   • Magnet to clean inside algae
   • Aquarium Salt – they need a bit of salt even though they are freshwater fish
   • Aquasafe – Makes tap water ok for freshwater fish
   • Testing kits (Optional, you can just bring samples in to a store and they will check your water for free.)
7. Set up your tank by attaching all the equipment, the biowheel with a filter in it and the heater set to the temperature that’s right for your fish. Rinse your gravel and put it in. Turn on the filter and heater. If you already have a goldfish, you can put it in the tank to help get some ammonia going. Otherwise you can buy a fish for cycling (ask your local fishstore) or you can buy ammonia and use that for cycling without a fish.
8. For 4-6 weeks your tank will cycle. You will need to do a 10-15% water change every few days (this means using your siphon to suck out some water and put some new water back in.) After 4 weeks do a water test. You can bring water to a store or buy the testing kits. This is great for older kids to see how bacteria works.
9. Once your nitrite and ammonia are at 0 you are ready for fish! I recommend a guppy and/or tetra tank. They are peaceful fish that won’t eat each other. They will however eat their babies if you don’t give the babies a nice floating plant. Remember, one inch of fish per gallon unless you have a goldfish. I recommend buying your fish at a high quality small local shop. Type “Tropical fish” on a google map near your house.
10. Maintain the tank by doing water changes every couple weeks or so, and clean the gravel at the same time. If you get a snail outbreak you can get an Assassin Snail or a Clown Loach to eat them. I just try to buy my plants from a local shop with high standards and hope for the best. You can also paint the outside of the back of your tank black to make it look nicer, we have yet to do this on the new tank. You could also put blue film back there too.

A decent fishtank will cost about $150-$400. We got most of our stuff from Aunt Betsy and her many aquariums. Just this weekend she was taunting us and our lack of a salt water tank. She also had a hole in her 90 gallon tank and had to destroy it with a sledgehammer to get a replacement. It’s a whole new world, this hobby.

My favorite site for fish advice.

Cycling your tank.

How we ended up with a fishtank, and images of all the supplies you will need.